One of the most painful things in life is rejection.
Some of us are rejected in so many ways and so many times by so many people in so many situations that we begin to doubt ourselves.
We wonder what the hell is wrong with us, in us, about us…why does everyone seem to reject us? We may not actually be so bad…maybe we just plain lack social skills or that we refuse to play by society’s rules…whatever it is, we face rejection and it brings us pain.
We normally deal with this rejection by withdrawing, almost like a turtle retreating into its shell. We often respond to rejection by rejecting those that reject us.
That’s a survival tactic…but a very bad one. That’s something that’s taken me a while lifetime to learn and master.
Tit for tat rejection is no answer! It merely isolates us.
Isolation, per se, is not a bad thing! In fact, it can be very useful. However, not always! Especially, not if it merely helps us lose some of our dearest friends…
One of my greatest challenges in life has been dealing with these endless rejections. Each time it happened, I withdrew…with a tit for tat rejection.
That helped my ego…not me…
And, now I’m old enough to know I’m not my ego…and that my ego is actually my greatest enemy…I have no reason to support my ego or to stand with it.
If anything, i should be glad when my ego gets slapped a bit…not me!
Learning to accept rejection is a great way to deal with the hurt and pain of rejection…by acknowledging within it’s the ego that’s hurt, nothing else…
Instead of responding to rejection by handing out a tit-for-tat reaction, I now continue as if nothing happened, as if it’s not important (it’s really not, anyway!) and that I still value my friendships, relationship and association with the rejector!
In fact, considering that I really wish the rejector well, I’m helping him by not rejecting him!
That makes me powerful in a special way…and i stop myself from wasting and losing my precious and sacred energy…
Once we master the art of accepting rejections, rejoicing in them and training ourselves to be unaffected by them, we win a massive war…a war against our ego!
Any victory against our ego, is our greatest and most important victory…
After all, our enemies are not outside…how much harm can external enemies bring us!
It’s the real enemy within that must be vanquished…
– rajyogi (rajesh kanoi)
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